Monday, June 22, 2009

Domestic Violence: Private Family Matter

This whole Rihanna and Chris Brown affair1, and the news today that Chris Brown has been sentenced to probation2 and that both he and Rihanna are under a "stay away order" that legally requires them to not be in contact with each other, it all highlights, for me, the appalling downright communist nature of the laws involving domestic violence.

In a way, this whole Rihanna/Chris Brown affair is a departure for me, as I really don't get into celebrity news, but this one is an exception.

I have learned much about domestic violence laws over the years, and have been absolutely shocked at what the laws state nowadays. It has totally changed my mind about the supposed "need for reform" with domestic violence, and has totally tainted my view of all of these "stop the violence" and "end the silence" slogans I read about nowadays.

My question simply enough is this: if Chris and Rihanna want to be in contact with each other, how is that anyone's business? Since when does the law have any right to tell the two of them they can't get together if that is absolutely what they want to do? Moreover, no one can play the "children will be affected" card, as they don't have any children.

Yes, it would likely be foolish for Rihanna to "take him back" as it were, given his behavior, but hey--if she wants to, that's her business, and I cannot fathom laws that would actually penalize either of them for being in touch with each other if that's what they want to do. It's not any of our business--I don't care what the law says, it's wrong and should be changed and, dare I say it, even ignored--yes, ignored--by the both of them if they want to be together.

It really appalls me to read this, given that today you can't state, without resulting ostracizing by society, that marriage is between a man & a woman. Just ask Carrie Prejean3 about that--you know, the one that lost her 2009 Miss California USA Crown4 because she replied (when asked!) that marriage should be between a man & a woman. These days the laws increasingly recognize the rights for gays to marry, let alone to be together--something I don't agree with--yet we can't recognize the right of two heterosexual persons to simply be together (not just married) if they want to? Since when is that anyone's business whatsover?

But such is the state of domestic violence laws today. I have discovered, in fact, that one can get legal punishment simply for destruction of property--even if the property belongs to the one doing the destruction--under the heading of "domestic violence, criminal damage." So in other words, you could be a Tar Heel basketball fan and, while watching Duke & Carolina play, become incensed at Duke winning a game and respond by breaking a remote control. If someone hears you shouting and so forth, the police show up, and you admit to breaking a remote control, that alone could cause you to be whisked away to jail for "domestic violence, criminal damage."

What's worse? Your spouse could vehimently disagree with this, not out of ignorance but out of understanding you better than those outsiders do (which shouldn't be a surprise), yet the "outsiders" (re, the police) will totally ignore this and arrest anyway. What's worse, the supposed "victim" doesn't even have the choice to not press charges, because the presumption is made that she is only doing this out of "economic dependence" (that is, she needs his money from him working) or fear of retaliation.

Imagine that--the system assumes that you don't know any better, or that when you tell them that you don't wish to press charges that you're only lying to protect your spouse even if you actually DO NOT want to press charges. Absolute liberalism on display here.

It gets worse--when my wife & I had our car stolen in 2005 (we got it back, thankfully), we had to persist very strongly with reminding the police that we did wish to press charges. So, in other words, the option for us to not press charges against a car thief exists, but yet if a domestic violence situation were to occur between my wife and I, she wouldn't have the option to refuse to press charges against her own husband? Are you kidding me?

It's no wonder that many people say that society is losing respect for marriage. This only serves to prove it even more.

Well I take the "neanderthal" stance that domestic violence is a "family issue," it is not the government's business or anyone else's business, unless the "victim" wants to press charges. If the "victim" of her own free fill and educated thought process wishes to remain in a relationship with a man who allegedly beat her, that is between the two of them and no one else. If he ends up killing her, by all means--charge him with murder, but otherwise--it is not anyone's business.

I mean good grief, we're legislation private relationships now? To quote Larry the Cable Guy, "what the hell is this, Russia?"


1 Link. Look for comments by "jasugarcane," her posts reflect my opinion.
2 Yahoo! Story
3 Link to article from Catholic News Agency
4 Link to FoxNews coverage of Carrie Prejean (video link initially)
5EJFI.Org, Great Domestic Violence Site: Chapter 3>>Chapter 1>>>Domestic Violence Is A Human Problem
6 Insult to Injury: Rethinking our Responses to Intimate Abuse
7 Domestic Violence: The 12 Things You Aren't Supposed to Know
8 Taken into Custody: The War Against Fatherhood, Marriage, and the Family

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